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The Healthy Male:
Exploring Issues of Boy's and Men's Health and
Wellness
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Maine Boys Network Presents
Regional Dine and Discuss Forums
From "Sponge Bob Square Pants" to "The Mook":
Media, Masculinity and the Boy Crisis.
In
Their Own Voice: Refugee and Immigrant Boys Speak
about College Aspirations.
"It Ain't
Cool to Like School": Why Boys Are Underachieving
and What We Can Do About It
Click here
for more
information. |
Donate Now Online to Boys to
Men | | |
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March/April 2007 Issue No.
10
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Join us for the 7th Annual Boys to
Men Conference, May 25 at the USM Portland
Campus. Click here for
more
information.
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B2M Father's Day
Breakfast
When: Friday, June 15, 2007
from 7:00 to 8:50
Where: The
Mariner's Church Banquet Facility
Keynote
Speaker: John
Badalament
Contact Boys to
Men for further
details. | | | |
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A
Word from the Director
I recently asked my 17 year old son, Micah,
what it means to be “a healthy male”. At first he
hemmed and hawed and said something about
“...another one of those Boys to Men questions”,
but after a moment of deftly applied pressure from
me, he said “being healthy is not having AIDS, not
being sick”. On the face of it, Micah’s response
was fairly superficial and probably meant to
appease me and get me off the phone. However, I
think it speaks to something deeper in our
culture; something that may have significant
meaning for boys and men. We live, go to school
and work in a culture that is very often focused
on pathology, on disease; what’s wrong rather than
what is right. I believe we often fail to describe
or imagine what “right” even looks like- for us
and for the young people in our lives. Health is
more than the absence of illness, it is the
presence of “wellness”. And to be well, really
well, means being connected to caring, reciprocal
relationships, (romantic, familial and platonic),
and having opportunities to engage one’s mind in
something stimulating or challenging. Being well
also means having shelter, food and clothing and a
body that can support us to do the things we want
to do like breathe, digest, run or use our arms to
power a wheel chair. For some, a healthy spiritual
life is essential to health.
In this issue, we have invited young men and
adults to explore and share their ideas about
health and wellness. Nathan Hall, B2M
AmeriCorps VISTA, has written a book review of How
to Feed a Teenaged Boy, and we will share some
Boys to Men program accomplishments.
In our next issue, June/July, we will be
publishing our second annual Father’s Day issue.
We invite all men, young and old, to share a
story, poem, or sentiment about his father or his
experience fathering. Our submissions last year
reflected the immense power of father-son
connections, some tragic, fragile and some loving
or lost.
If you would like to submit something for our
Father's Day issue, or have questions, please
email boystomen@maine.rr.com.
Layne Gregory
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Reflections
on Wellness
Let me confess, right now, in
front of all of you. I stumbled on a career
in medicine purely by chance. I thought I
was destined to become a lawyer (yikes!!).
My father, a lobsterman in Bass Harbor, Maine,
wanted me to accomplish more than he had and told
me at the age of 10 that I should plan to study
marine law. But the first government course
during my freshman year at college cured me of
that notion. I was naturally drawn to the
living sciences…biology, organic chemistry,
biochemistry and that ilk…and I thrived once I
accepted this truth. Eventually I found my
way to Emergency Medicine.
As an Emergency Physician I have
seen the best and worst of our society. I
have been saddened when I encounter domestic
violence, child abuse, sexual assault and needless
trauma caused by intoxicated drivers. I have
been sustained by the hope and courage so many of
my patients and their families demonstrate when
faced with sudden and unexpected
tragedy.
All of us struggle with personal
choices that could put our health and wellness at
risk. All of us have made poor
choices. We also wrestle with our
consciences when we witness friends making
inappropriate choices and fail to intervene.
Most of the time we survive these lapses in sanity
and only have to deal with the nagging guilt we
feel upon reflection of the events that occurred
the night before. All too often, however,
lives can be devastated and changed forever
because of split-second irresponsibility.
Wellness can morph to “unwellness” in a heart
beat.
Wellness for otherwise young and
healthy people is simply about making good choices
when it comes to our physical and emotional health
and to our interactions with peers.
Preaching about the irrefutable virtues of a
balanced diet, regular exercise, fresh air and
meditation only gets us so far. After all,
if preaching really worked, the world would be a
perfect place.
Since teenagers are usually in the
prime of health, I like to frame discussions about
wellness in the context of “unwellness”. I
used this tactic when I taught lessons to my own
children as they journeyed through their formative
years. Here are two examples of “unwellness”
from my own experience as an Emergency
Physician.
An 18 year-old high school senior
invited the love of his life to the prom.
She, I’ll bet, was thrilled to accept this
invitation, bought just the right gown (I suspect
she looked absolutely beautiful and was the
shining light for her entire family in the
process), confided her  excitement to her
friends, and waited expectantly in all her beauty
on the night of the big event to have her Prince
Charming appear. However, Prince Charming
decided to visit friends prior to picking up his
date, became totally inebriated with alcohol
within an hour, spent the entire night in my ER in
a comatose state with his not-too-happy parents,
and left the ER the next day with missing teeth,
no shoes and a ripped tuxedo. And just
imagine how embarrassed and disappointed his date
must have been.
A 14 year-old champion sprinter
was brought to me by her coach because times in
her best event, the 100 meter dash, were
declining. The coach felt she must have
something like mononucleosis to explain her
results. I quickly determined that she was
8-monhs pregnant. Needless to say, her focus
immediately changed from training for the state
meet to coming to terms with teenage
parenthood.
I
believe the very best way for young men to remain
well is to surround themselves with supportive
peers and role models, to understand the true
consequences of their actions when risky behavior
is being considered, and to respect the values and
boundaries of others. Poor choices and
decisions will inevitably be made, hopefully
without significant harm. These become
“lessons learned” and can positively influence
future behavior.
Wellness is yours to treasure and keep,
and it truly is a luxury. Don’t take it for
granted and don’t let poor choices rob you of
it. Believe me, the “unwellness” alternative
ain’t pretty.
Oh, and I can’t help myself from
saying this…make sure you eat plenty of fruits and
vegetables, exercise every day, get plenty of
sleep, spend less time in front of the television
and computer, and never, ever start smoking.
(Do I sound like a parent?)
Enjoy a healthy
life.
Dr. George Higgins, III
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Being a Healthy Teen
What is the true meaning of "being a healthy
teen?" It's not something on every teenage boy's
mind all the time and they aren't thinking
about it for hours on end. But to men, a healthy
teenage boy is someone who first off is proud of
who he is, and is his own person and not
ashamed of that. However, I think the 3 most
important things that make you a healthy boy,
teenager and person are doing good in
school, having friends, and being
active.
Doing well in school doesn't even faze most
kids when you first mention it to them. But when
you really think about it, middle school and high
school are the building blocks that lead you to
college where you decide what you're going to do
with your life. School, as you've often heard,
comes first. As much as you dislike hearing that,
and so do I, it's true. You might not think of it,
but being smart and doing well in school is a part
of being a healthy growing young adult.
Friends. That word symbolizes and represents
many things. It symbolizes trust, and the
bond and faith you have in another person. A
friend you know you can trust and can
have him or her be there for you when
you need them most. A friend is someone who
represents him or herself as well as you. The
group of kids or crowd you hang-out with reflects
on you as a person. Fair or not, that's the way
people see it. You want to be known as a good
kid, someone who makes the right choices and is a
respectful person. You can be all of those
things and not have it mean one thing if you're
around kids who make bad decisions and hurt
themselves because it will hurt you with their
reputation. It could possibly turn into
peer pressure which would be pressure from friends
to do something you wouldn't do on your own. You
want friends who, just like you, share the love of
the same hobbies and activities. For me it
would mean a lot if people remembered me for being
a st  and-out athlete, but
it would mean just as much to me, if not more,
that I'm seen as a good kid, and
that I'm respectable. If you have people talking
about you in a negative way, that wouldn't make
you feel any better about yourself. It would
hurt your self-esteem and risk your comfort level
for doing things you really like to do.
I think that being active, whether it be
playing sports or just exercising, or getting out
and about doing things, is going to help you
become a healthy teen. Being active makes you
feel a lot better after you're done. Your muscles
are sore for a little, but it feels better knowing
you're not just sitting around eating and watching
T.V. all day. Exercising is something most teens
around the U.S. have a hard time doing. You stay
fit by doing it, and who knows it might even be
enjoyable for some people. There are some
exceptions for obesity, but, for the most,
laziness is a huge part of it. Staying active and
being involved with a sport or two I think
wouldn't hurt and so just find a sport that's fun
for you and have fun playing it while being active
at the same time.
These three suggestions can and will make a
huge impact and change if you put forth the effort
to help yourself out and do what you need to do to
stay fit and healthy. It will show, and people
will notice, you will notice as well. Growing
teenagers need their rest in there as well, this
will help you perform better in the classroom and
playing sports. This is one of many points of view
of what it means to be a healthy teen.
Jamie Ross, age 15
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Love Makes Us Well
Physical health, spiritual health, and mental
health – they are all a part of what being
“healthy” is about. We tend to focus on the
physical. If the heart isn’t beating, the mental
probably is done too, maybe even the
spiritual. But there are a lot of accounts
of people near death who experienced something of
what life after death would be like before they
were resuscitated. Many tell of being out of
their bodies and moving through darkness toward
welcoming Light. Some tell of being welcomed
into the Light by family and friends who loved
them who had died. This all lends witness to
what many faiths believe about life after
death. But it also has to do with being
alive and well in the days of our breathing
 Living our life as a
journey moving into the light of Love is what full
life, i.e. the healthiest living, is about on both
sides of the grave. There are countless
studies and stories telling how living without
love shrivels one’s spiritual as well as physical
being even though hearts keep beating. And
there are stories and studies that show that we
are healthier physically and mentally when we love
and are being loved. Love enhances our
immune systems, brightens out outlook, and gives
us purpose and meaning. This is the
stuff of spiritual life, loving and being
loved.
Taking care of our bodies is part of loving
ourselves. Loving others is about mutuality
and compassion, sharing the load and letting
others help us. The more we love, the
healthier we are. The more we love, the more
we see the beauty of all people, of all nature,
and this may be the hardest to believe, we see our
own beauty defined and affirmed by those who love
us. Finally, here is the great revelation of
the spiritual journey, the Light that welcomes us
as we near death has welcomed us and called us to
love the fullness of life every day of our
physical life.
No matter how strong or sick, how able other
differently abled we are, it is love that makes us
well, love of self, neighbor and the Light.
Bill Gregory
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How to Feed a Teenage Boy: A
Review
In How to Feed a Teenage Boy: Recipes and
Strategies (2007) Georgia Orcutt provides
parents with a solid introduction into strategies
and recipes to promote healthy eating habits in
teenage boys. This book, geared to the
parent who feels overwhelmed by the eating habits
of his or her teenage son, seeks to explain the
importance of healthy nutrition for growing boys
as well as strategies for supporting it.
The book is broken into two
sections. The first containing
nutritional information about what growing boys
need and where they can get it. It also
provides information and strategies for
giving boys healthier and easier ways
of ingesting that nutrition. Ranging
from sections on specific mineral, vitamin, and
caloric intake to the tools and tips needed to
create a teen ready kitchen, this section provides
parents with a detailed handbook for feeding their
teenage boy. Using a nice mixture of medical
research and her own personal experience, Orcutt
is able to clearly and accessibly present
strategies for raising a life-long healthy
eater.
The second half of the book contains healthy
recipes for parents and boys. The recipes
range from things which boys can quickly and
easily make themselves, to recipes which one can
make days in advance, to even more complicated,
yet healthy ones. For the most part the
recipes are pretty standard fare with a few
notable exceptions, she does include ways to
incorporate these recipes into raising a healthy
teen, providing us with how long certain meals
will last in the freezer to adding tips about how
to present the meals to reluctant boys. One
of the most unique recipes she provides is called
“Railroad Sandwiches.” Here the boy takes a
baguette, adds butter and ham, and then wraps the
whole sandwich in foil then a towel and finally
proceeds to sit on the sandwich for twenty
minutes.
While this is a wonderful handbook for
exasperated parents, it can, at times, feel a
little basic in its accessibility. There are
times when you would like just a little bit more
information about the topic or you feel that she
is writing more for the teen than the
parent. Moreover, she repeats many
statistics and strategies a number of times,
sometimes without even rewording them. One
example is her tip for keeping a box in
the frig full of sandwich-making supplies to be
taken out whenever your teen wants a
sandwich. While a handy tip, it becomes
a little monotonous when repeated three plus
times throughout.
If you feel that you are at your wits end with
your teenage son’s eating habits, then you might
want to buy this book. You might find
it to be just what is needed in getting a handle
on his appetite. Yet, I feel that most
people would benefit just as much from this book
if they asked their local library to pick up a
copy and then spend a little bit of time with it
to help frame your thinking about how to feed a
teenage boy.
Orcutt, Georgia. How to Feed a Teenage
Boy: Recipes and Strategies. Berkeley:
Celestial Arts, 2007.
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Raising Boys to Men TV Show
Since September, 2005, Boys to Men has been
partnering with Maine Medical Center’s (MMC)
Department of Psychiatry, Spring Harbor Hospital
and the Community Television Network to produce a
monthly TV forum focused on supporting the healthy
development of boys. In September of 2006, MMC’s
Dept. of Pediatrics and the Forecaster joined in
the partnership to provide a well-rounded call-in
program that tackles complex issues in an
accessible and thoughtful manner. Raising Boys to
Men, co-hosted Lindsey Tweed and Michael Odokara
Okigbo, each month explores a different issue
facing boys and invites community experts, and
young men themselves, onto the program to weigh-in
and discuss each topic at hand. Show themes have
ranged from Being a Boy in a Family Facing
Divorce and Separation, to Athletics and
Masculinity, Substance Abuse Prevention
to Creating a Sense of Team in the Home to
name a few.
Raising Boys to Men is filmed and directed by
members of our Boys to Men Studio Crew. In
collaboration with PROP Peer Leader, Boys to Men
has trained 10 boys who produce the show each
month. These young men earn a small stipend to
direct the program, run the cameras and manage the
audio. For some, participating in this program has
been a life-altering experience. “Learning how to
direct and film a TV show has given me the self
confidence to pursue a career in media production.
I now want to be anchorman on a news program.”
Rhaoul,  age 17 and author of
this quote, has recently been awarded a
scholarship by the Maine College of Art to attend
a video production course.
If you live in the Greater Portland area,
please feel free to tune in from 7 to 8 PM the
last Tuesday of each month, or watch one of the
repeat broadcasts during the following month. If
you do not live within the broadcast area, but
want to view the show, you may down load each
program from the Community Television Station web
site at http://click.exacttarget.com/?ffcb10-fe291572726c077a701475-fdec107876660d7d7d1d7774-fefd1572766301-fe9515757166027c72-fe221d7572610478701273.
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An
Interview with Lindsey Tweed
For this newsletter, we invited
Lindsey Tweed, Child Psychiatrist at Maine Medical
Center's Department of Psychiatry and co-host
of the monthly Raising Boys to Men TV show, to
share his thoughts on what makes a man successful,
the challenges for young men, and how community
makes a difference. Here's what he has to
say.
What makes a successful
man?
To me, success is to be able to
work, love, and play. I hope for all our young men
that they can find a line of work from which they
gain a sense of accomplishment and the
gratification of contributing to the community as
a whole. I also hope they can build for themselves
ongoing relationships that are warm and supportive
with an intimate partner, with family, and with
friends. Lastly, I hope for all our young men that
they can keep their sense of fun and play as they
move into adulthood.
What are the
challenges young men face today as they transition
into men?
All of our young people--men
and women--are entering a very competitive culture
and society. Developing a balanced approach to
competition can be difficult. It is important, on
the one hand, for a young man to be able to strive
toward whatever educational opportunities or jobs
attract him. It is also important, at the same
time, for a young man to feel confident that he
will be ok no matter what the result of that
competition turns out to be--to feel confident
that, together with his family and friends, he
will be happy whether or not he gets any
particular job or college admission.
A
challenge more specific to men is the pressure we
often feel to only show strength, to share only
our successes. Life has many experiences of
success and happiness, and sharing these
experiences can be joyful. Life also gives us many
experiences that give rise to sadness, worry, or
frustration--it is important for all young men to
able to share such experiences with family and
friends in order to learn from and move through
them.
How can adult men support
this transition?
Spend time with boys
and young men--include them in what you are doing,
and be open and willing to listening to what is on
their minds. Also, tell stories, including stories
about times in your life when you have experienced
challenges and moved through them.
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